I don't know who at the ESRB decided this bizarre Schoolhouse Rock-style anthem was a good idea, but bless 'em because it's absurdly catchy

GamesI don’t know who at the ESRB decided this bizarre Schoolhouse Rock-style anthem was a good idea, but bless ‘em because it’s absurdly catchyWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works. GamesI don’t know who at the ESRB decided this bizarre Schoolhouse Rock-style anthem was a good idea, but bless ‘em because it’s absurdly catchyWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works. (Image credit: ESRB) Last week, I got an odd press release. That’s not altogether unusual - I’m still deleting pitches for coverage of NFT games to this very day - but this was a rare one with a bizarre hook: “ESRB Celebrates 30 Years with E is for Everyone Music Video & Single Release.” The idea of the Entertainment Software Ratings Board of all things releasing amusic video and singlewas so utterly mesmerizing that I had to know more. When I first clicked through on the video, it had barely reached three-digit views - and even now it’s only just above 1,000 views, most of which have to be from me. It is, indeed, a music video for an ESRB song called E is For Everyone. I was immediately gobsmacked. I dropped everything to let the majesty of this thing wash over me. E is For Everyone has the vibes of a Schoolhouse Rock song and while it’s no Conjunction Junction, it’s bizarrely catchy. The magical part for me is just howdeeplyuncool it all is. You can tell the lyrics had to go through a few too many revisions to make sure it all fit the ESRB’s branding and messaging standards, and it’s all just delightfully awkward. How often do you get a song telling you all about the function of the Advertising Review Council? Not enough, clearly. E is For Everyone â ESRBâs 30th Anniversary - YouTubeWatch On E is For Everyone â ESRBâs 30th Anniversary - YouTube E is For Everyone â ESRBâs 30th Anniversary - YouTube “With the help of some of ESRB’s musically gifted staff and composer Alex Engelberg,” ESRB president Patricia Vance says in the press release, “this celebratory song helps illustrate the important public service and self-regulatory role that ESRB has performed for the past three decades on behalf of the video game industry.” If themusic video on YouTubeisn’t enough for you, you can also listen to E is For Everyone on Apple Music and Spotify. Because I am obsessed with this whole thing, I have also transcribed the song’s full lyrics for you below. Enjoy. E is for everyone, won’t you play a game with meE is for everyone, I think we make a good teamAll aboard to central station, to tell you about this organizationE is for everyone at the ESRB (at the ESRB) Oh when a new game is ready to launch but the discs aren’t yet madeWe take a look at the content and the way the game is playedWe then give it an age rating so parents can be sureIf it is ‘Everyone,’ ‘Everyone 10 and Up,’ ‘Teen,’ or ‘Mature’ Sign up to the GamesRadar+ Newsletter Weekly digests, tales from the communities you love, and more E is for everyone, won’t you play a game with meE is for everyone, I think we make a good teamShopping for games is illuminating thanks to the clarity of our ratingsE is for everyone at the ESRB (at the ESRB) ARC makes sure the game ads are in lineBreaking the rules can mean you’re hit with some finesJust follow our specs on how the ratings must appearBe it on a Times Square billboard or the big Las Vegas Sphere E is for everyone, won’t you play a game with meE is for everyone, I think we make a good teamARC rules are simple as can be, just look ma we’re on TVE is for everyone at the ESRB (at the ESRB) Game and toy companies join Privacy CertifiedTheir products are monitored with compliance in mindWe’re thoroughly reviewing how user data is collectedOne of our shiny seals tells you your kid’s info is protected E is for everyone, won’t you play a game with meE is for everyone, I think we make a good teamWe have members handle data whether a game is out or in betaE is for everyone at the ESRB (at the ESRB) E is for everyone (We’re all here for the love of the game)E is for everyone (Putting out ratings is our claim to fame)E is for everyone (Helping parents make informed choices)E is for everyone at the ESRB (at the ESRB) You know what thebest games of all timehave in common? Most of them have ESRB ratings. 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made it such a fan favorite in the first place” GAME REVIEWSMOVIE REVIEWSTV REVIEWS1Nemesis review: “A magical sense of tension"2Arcs review: “A whole lot of game in a small package"3Path of Exile 2 review: “A stellar start to a thrilling and brutal dark adventure"4Indiana Jones and the Great Circle review: “The best adventure Indy has embarked on in over 30 years"5Marvel Rivals review: “So preoccupied with trying to be like Overwatch that it forgets to play to its own strengths"1Sonic the Hedgehog 3 review: “Keanu Reeves as Shadow is wasted whilst Jim Carrey steals the show"2Mufasa: The Lion King review – “It’s no Hakuna Matata but this Disney origin story is a class above the 2019 movie"3Kraven the Hunter review: “The insistence on an R-rating helps save this, with a decent helping of bloodthirsty action"4The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim review – “An uninspired expansion of the most iconic screen take on Tolkien"5Nightbitch review: “Amy Adams' disappointing dark comedy is all bark and no bite"1Doctor Who 2024 Christmas special review: “Ncuti Gatwa is as magnetic as ever in this delightful festive treat"2Secret Level review: “An uneven experience with serious highlights that ultimately make up for the misses"3Skeleton Crew review: “Perfectly captures the vibes of classic Star Wars with a swashbuckling twist"4Creature Commandos review: “James Gunn’s heartwarming, R-rated tale about super-monsters proves that the DCU is in good hands"5Cobra Kai season 6, part 2 review: “Returns to the sort of hard-hitting form that made it such a fan favorite in the first place” GAME REVIEWSMOVIE REVIEWSTV REVIEWS1Nemesis review: “A magical sense of tension"2Arcs review: “A whole lot of game in a small package"3Path of Exile 2 review: “A stellar start to a thrilling and brutal dark adventure"4Indiana Jones and the Great Circle review: “The best adventure Indy has embarked on in over 30 years"5Marvel Rivals review: “So preoccupied with trying to be like Overwatch that it forgets to play to its own strengths"1Sonic the Hedgehog 3 review: “Keanu Reeves as Shadow is wasted whilst Jim Carrey steals the show"2Mufasa: The Lion King review – “It’s no Hakuna Matata but this Disney origin story is a class above the 2019 movie"3Kraven the Hunter review: “The insistence on an R-rating helps save this, with a decent helping of bloodthirsty action"4The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim review – “An uninspired expansion of the most iconic screen take on Tolkien"5Nightbitch review: “Amy Adams' disappointing dark comedy is all bark and no bite"1Doctor Who 2024 Christmas special review: “Ncuti Gatwa is as magnetic as ever in this delightful festive treat"2Secret Level review: “An uneven experience with serious highlights that ultimately make up for the misses"3Skeleton Crew review: “Perfectly captures the vibes of classic Star Wars with a swashbuckling twist"4Creature Commandos review: “James Gunn’s heartwarming, R-rated tale about super-monsters proves that the DCU is in good hands"5Cobra Kai season 6, part 2 review: “Returns to the sort of hard-hitting form that made it such a fan favorite in the first place” GAME REVIEWSMOVIE REVIEWSTV REVIEWS 1Nemesis review: “A magical sense of tension” 1Nemesis review: “A magical sense of tension” 1 Nemesis review: “A magical sense of tension” 2Arcs review: “A whole lot of game in a small package” 2Arcs review: “A whole lot of game in a small package” 2 Arcs review: “A whole lot of game in a small package” 3Path of Exile 2 review: “A stellar start to a thrilling and brutal dark adventure” 3Path of Exile 2 review: “A stellar start to a thrilling and brutal dark adventure” 3 Path of Exile 2 review: “A stellar start to a thrilling and brutal dark adventure” 4Indiana Jones and the Great Circle review: “The best adventure Indy has embarked on in over 30 years” 4Indiana Jones and the Great Circle review: “The best adventure Indy has embarked on in over 30 years” 4 Indiana Jones and the Great Circle review: “The best adventure Indy has embarked on in over 30 years” 5Marvel Rivals review: “So preoccupied with trying to be like Overwatch that it forgets to play to its own strengths” 5Marvel Rivals review: “So preoccupied with trying to be like Overwatch that it forgets to play to its own strengths” 5 Marvel Rivals review: “So preoccupied with trying to be like Overwatch that it forgets to play to its own strengths” 1Sonic the Hedgehog 3 review: “Keanu Reeves as Shadow is wasted whilst Jim Carrey steals the show” 1Sonic the Hedgehog 3 review: “Keanu Reeves as Shadow is wasted whilst Jim Carrey steals the show” 1 Sonic the Hedgehog 3 review: “Keanu Reeves as Shadow is wasted whilst Jim Carrey steals the show” 2Mufasa: The Lion King review – “It’s no Hakuna Matata but this Disney origin story is a class above the 2019 movie” 2Mufasa: The Lion King review – “It’s no Hakuna Matata but this Disney origin story is a class above the 2019 movie” 2 Mufasa: The Lion King review – “It’s no Hakuna Matata but this Disney origin story is a class above the 2019 movie” 3Kraven the Hunter review: “The insistence on an R-rating helps save this, with a decent helping of bloodthirsty action” 3Kraven the Hunter review: “The insistence on an R-rating helps save this, with a decent helping of bloodthirsty action” 3 Kraven the Hunter review: “The insistence on an R-rating helps save this, with a decent helping of bloodthirsty action” 4The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim review – “An uninspired expansion of the most iconic screen take on Tolkien” 4The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim review – “An uninspired expansion of the most iconic screen take on Tolkien” 4 The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim review – “An uninspired expansion of the most iconic screen take on Tolkien” 5Nightbitch review: “Amy Adams' disappointing dark comedy is all bark and no bite” 5Nightbitch review: “Amy Adams' disappointing dark comedy is all bark and no bite” 5 Nightbitch review: “Amy Adams' disappointing dark comedy is all bark and no bite” 1Doctor Who 2024 Christmas special review: “Ncuti Gatwa is as magnetic as ever in this delightful festive treat” 1Doctor Who 2024 Christmas special review: “Ncuti Gatwa is as magnetic as ever in this delightful festive treat” 1 Doctor Who 2024 Christmas special review: “Ncuti Gatwa is as magnetic as ever in this delightful festive treat” 2Secret Level review: “An uneven experience with serious highlights that ultimately make up for the misses” 2Secret Level review: “An uneven experience with serious highlights that ultimately make up for the misses” 2 Secret Level review: “An uneven experience with serious highlights that ultimately make up for the misses” 3Skeleton Crew review: “Perfectly captures the vibes of classic Star Wars with a swashbuckling twist” 3Skeleton Crew review: “Perfectly captures the vibes of classic Star Wars with a swashbuckling twist” 3 Skeleton Crew review: “Perfectly captures the vibes of classic Star Wars with a swashbuckling twist” 4Creature Commandos review: “James Gunn’s heartwarming, R-rated tale about super-monsters proves that the DCU is in good hands” 4Creature Commandos review: “James Gunn’s heartwarming, R-rated tale about super-monsters proves that the DCU is in good hands” 4 Creature Commandos review: “James Gunn’s heartwarming, R-rated tale about super-monsters proves that the DCU is in good hands” 5Cobra Kai season 6, part 2 review: “Returns to the sort of hard-hitting form that made it such a fan favorite in the first place” 5Cobra Kai season 6, part 2 review: “Returns to the sort of hard-hitting form that made it such a fan favorite in the first place” 5 Cobra Kai season 6, part 2 review: “Returns to the sort of hard-hitting form that made it such a fan favorite in the first place”